Archive for the 'Jokes' Category

09
Oct
08

Boys and girls!! www.OmgOwned.com is here!!

Hi guys,

I’ve been busy in a lot of things, one of them was http://www.omgowned.com official website πŸ™‚

I’m happy to say I’ve Bought the domain and it’s up now!!

Hopefully will be posting all the crazy stuff there!! πŸ™‚

See you @ www.omgowned.com

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31
Aug
08

A “Valid” Letter to Mr. Bill Gates

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no ‘stop’ button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friends clicked ‘run’ he ran up to Amritsar! (A place in india)
So, we request you to change that to ‘sit’, so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system?
I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the
door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘ find’ button, but was
unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
sentence’, so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon
which shows ‘MY Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a
single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the
PC at home only.

9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?

10. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God sake please do not provide ‘My
Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

09
Jul
08

He Tried

A man went to the doctor to get a double dose of Viagra but his request was denied.

‘Why can’t I have a double dose?’ the man asked.

‘It’s not safe,’ the doctor replied.

‘But I need it really bad,’ the man explained.
‘My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, one of my exes will be here on Saturday, and my wife is coming home on Sunday.’

‘Okay, I’ll give it to you,’ the doctor relented. ‘But you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check to see if there are any side effects.’

On Monday the man dragged himself into the doctor’s office with his right arm in a sling.

The doctor asked, ‘What happened to you?’

Continue reading ‘He Tried’

02
Jul
08

Priceless

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. He doesn’t remember how he got home from the party.

Fearful he made some horrible blunder, he forces his eyes open, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. Next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing, all clean and pressed on a chair.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order and spotlessly clean.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

‘Honey,

Breakfast is on the stove,
I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling!
Love,

Jillian’

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the
table, eating.

Jack asks, ‘Son… what happened last night?’

‘Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, then you puked in the hallway, and
got that black eye when you ran into the door.’

Confused, he asked his son, ‘So,why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table
waiting for me?’

Continue reading ‘Priceless’